As I write this, news is breaking that the
Supreme Court has struck down the Defense of Marriage Act as
unconstitutional. So it goes. It was bound to happen. The redefinition of marriage has been going
on for decades, and the Church has allowed it to happen. Only recently, when the definition has been
slightly expanded to include two people of the same gender, has the church
raised her voice in protest. And then
only weakly.
What
happened? Before two people of the same
gender who loved each other deeply argued for their right to get married, two
people who used to love each other deeply but no longer do argued for their
right to get divorced. Before that, two
people who love each other deeply with little or no desire to share that love
or receive the natural fruit of their sexual union argued that they should be
allowed to marry without also being expected to have children.
Marriage
has already been redefined. As God
created marriage, it was a life-long union between a man and a woman, as the
liturgy of Holy Matrimony teaches, “intended by God for the mutual
companionship, help, and support that each person ought to receive from the
other…so that man and woman may find delight in one another…for the procreation
of children who are to be brought up in the fear and instruction of the Lord.”
Did
you catch that? We used to believe that
marriage was about more than just love.
It was about the life-long companionship of a man and a woman, that they
might have a God-pleasing outlet for their sexual desires, that God might bless
their union with children.
Then
the culture embraced contraception, believing that sexual pleasure could be
separated from God’s gift of children. And
the church went along with the culture. Then
the culture sold us no-fault divorce, supposing that if a couple is no longer
“in love,” they should divorce in order to find happiness. And the church bought what the culture was
selling.
If
you believe that marriage is simply about love, then children are optional and
divorce is a good solution if you quit loving each other.
When
the church protests against same-sex marriage, while making no fuss about the
prevalence of divorce or contraception among Christian couples, she sounds
exactly like advocates of homosexual marriage misrepresent her: whiny and
narrow-minded. God’s Word doesn’t
prohibit same-sex marriage because homosexual behavior is sinful (which it
is). It prohibits same-sex marriage
because marriage is a gift from God for the life-long, procreative union of a
man and a woman. The gift of marriage is
much bigger than we’ve allowed it to be reduced to.
As
long as the church is unrepentant for allowing contraception and no-fault
divorce, she has already allowed marriage to be redefined. Advocates of same-sex marriage are just using
the new definition of marriage that we have permitted: two people who love each
other.
Before
we gripe and moan about the SCOTUS’s opinion on DOMA, we would do well to turn
critical eyes toward ourselves. If we
begin in repentance for our past (and present) mistakes, for wanting to receive
some of God’s gifts but not all of them, we’ve found better ground to stand
on. Then we can extol the beautiful gift
of marriage, which is more than just the relationship between a man and a
woman. It’s an icon of the relationship
between Christ and His Bride, the Church.
This is the only perfect marriage, the only perfectly eternal marriage,
the only perfectly fruitful marriage.
Let’s
receive the gifts God desires to give as He desires to give them. His gifts truly are good.
